vvaddles:

U know when you were a kid and won a game in first place and there was that little bitch who went “first is the worst second is the best” like how the fuck did that even make sense

foodtrucker:

please don’t flirt with people i secretly like it’s rude and disrespectful

unbadger:

senpaidave:

[AGGRESSIVELY ATTEMPTS TO GO TO BED]

thetolqueen:

When I’m somewhere and a bunch of little kids start running around:

pink-vulva:

reasons i want to look GOOD 

  • for myself
  • for myself
  • to plant the seed of envy in other bitch’s hearts
  • for myself

officialfrenchtoast:

It’s a metaphor, see: you hold a pen with your homework in front of you, but you don’t do it, you don’t give it the power to do its killing

deathexe:

out of respect for our friendship im going to steal your cigarettes

lintott:

no one ever likes me as much as i like them 

notwifi:

um hi, my friend wants to know if you think im hot

nandinos:

i would be such a shit famous person because when a fan wants to take pictures i’d be like “show me” and then id be like “ew delete it” all the time

tightvaginas:

three things i’ll say in awkward situations:

  • hahahahah
  • omg
  • idk